DARVO
Understanding DARVO
An Interactive Guide to Recognizing a Manipulation Tactic
What is DARVO?
This guide is intended to help you understand a specific pattern of behavior you may have encountered. This pattern is a recognized manipulation tactic known as DARVO. Having a name for it can help you identify it, process its effects, and decide how you want to respond.
DARVO is an acronym that stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It is a common reaction from people when they are held accountable for their harmful behavior. Instead of taking responsibility, they manipulate the situation to make themselves look like the victim and portray the person who called them out as the aggressor.
The Three Stages of DARVO
This is a common sequence of manipulation. Click on each stage below to learn more about how it works and see examples of it in conversation.
1. DENY
The perpetrator denies the harmful behavior or minimizes its impact. They may claim it never happened, wasn't that serious, or was misunderstood.
2. ATTACK
When denial doesn't work, they attack the credibility, character, or motives of the person calling them out. This shifts focus away from their behavior.
3. REVERSE
Finally, they position themselves as the victim and the actual victim as the aggressor. They claim to be the one being unfairly treated or attacked.
Recognizing DARVO in Action
- • Watch for immediate denial followed by personal attacks
- • Notice when the focus shifts from their behavior to your character
- • Be aware when they claim to be the "real victim" in the situation
- • Trust your instincts if something feels manipulative or off